If Lies Could Kill

i am shaking right now after talking with husband on the phone…i have never felt sooo angry and sooo frustrated that i almost blurted out all the cuss words there is to say to him…i was forced to talk to him now because i can no longer hold back the anger that has been slowly building up…

i directly asked him for the complete name of his other woman…the one he has been chatting with five years ago up until now…he gave me  a completely different name and tried to downplay it by saying that he really didn’t know what her real name was, only her nickname….i also had to ask numerous times for the woman’ mobile phone…before he gave it to me, he even warned me not to bother the woman anymore since he said they are no longer in contact with each other…yeah right!  you’ve been chatting with her over the weekend…it took him so long before he gave the number to me…i think long enough for him to have warned her about me…so i called up the girl’s phone, set it on loudspeaker so that husband can hear thru the other line…when my call finally pushed thru, she did not even bother to say anything…just kept on listening to my voice…i called her again but this time, number can no longer be reached…

if my hands could only reach her from my phone to hers, i would have gladly bitch-slapped the whore to the ground…both of you have been making a fool out of me for the past 5 years!

hearing him deny and downplaying everything makes me so fucking mad!  to say that i am livid is an understatement…i have read every single detail of your chat conversations…everything!

you have been very busy painting me as the immoral wife when all that i ever did was be loyal to you…my life revolved around the kids…around family…while you on the other hand set up two different facades…all those years you have been lying straight to my face…pretending to be all godly when you really are not…even when presented with evidence, even if i have to forcibly shove it down your throat, all i still hear are denials…

if lies could kill, i am starting to feel immortal…starting to feel that i have been given a thousand lives ‘coz i am still here even after all of husband’s constant lies…

ENOUGH.

and yeah, here is the woman’s details:

+ 63 09488463828

FB account:  Tsikae Strawb

name:  Maria Talandong  (as per husband—which i highly doubt is her real name)

nickname:  Franz

location:  Digos, Davao Philippines

characteristics:  fat, has a mole on her upper lip just right below her big nose

go ahead and be my guest…feel free to contact her…i am done with being discrete…karma is truly a bitch…and so are YOU!

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Denial King, Plastic Queen, Sorry Bitch

i am feeling so f*cked up these past few days…have hardly slept thru the night…i hate having to witness time and time again how the husband is doing two faces at once…the dr. jeckyll and mr. hyde syndrome…what triggered it was when i sent his aunt a screenshot of husband’s sexual conversations with someone else which i found in his yahoo account…when i asked the aunt if she was able to open it already, she said she didn’t know how…and so i asked her for her phone, opened the screenshot i sent and showed it to her…

and then i saw it…i saw a conversation she had with my husband…husband made up another FB account aside from his personal one…in there, i read all the twisted advises she had been giving him…advising him to always cover up his tracks and delete conversations like those i sent so i won’t be able to see it…advising him to pray harder that his love for me will fade…advising him to look for someone else and separate from me…all the while, i thought she was advising him for the good of our marriage instead of finding ways to ruin it all the more…i recalled having to read her text message once telling husband to always be careful and hide his drug paraphernalia so i won’t be able to find out…here she was trying to condone everything that husband was doing and making me look as the bad wife…what kind of person are you???

and so that night, i was set on a mission…i tried to figure out how to access husband’s other FB account…luckily, i managed to open it and felt devastated to read all of their conversations…i don’t think there’s a need for denial anymore since the cards are all stacked up against them already…it was not only conversations with his aunt that haunted me…it was there that i read conversations with his other woman as well…his previous lover i suppose that he managed to track thru FB…they were exchanging “i love you’s”  and were trying to plan of meeting again once he comes back from work…woman knew he was married…hell, she said it did not even matter anymore since she loved him already…numerous phone calls (long distance) were made…long conversations were done…girl even mentioned seeing him 5 years ago…5 years ago we were already married…what were they doing that time?!?  and here he is, trying to make me look as the one who cheated on our marriage!  who is the cheater now?!?

i have also read conversations he made with the mother of his son…when husband was single, he got someone pregnant and had a son…but then, the woman’s family had her married to her boyfriend at that time…good thing she had the decency to advise my husband on how to make our marriage work and then promptly blocked him from her account…husband even had the gall of suggesting to the woman that this time might be the right time for them to get back together again since the woman have long been separated from her husband already…wow…just wow…

and so, i made a post on his account and tagged everyone on his list…the other woman got scared and immediately blocked me from her account…she then made another account so she could get to send me a message saying sorry for what happened…saying that she did not want to get in a mess and did not want her friends/family to know what she has been up to…saying she did not love the husband and everything was a mistake…ha!  and to think their conversations were a far different story…***slow clap for the b!tch***

and now husband just sent me a biblical qoute and a message saying he loves his family…it irks me when he acts as if everything else is still normal…it almost made me puke so hard that i could have turned my intestines inside out…

infidelity.  drugs.  alcohol.

denial.  hypocrisy. bitchiness.

when will it ever end?

***transcript from the post i made on his account:

Hi ALL, this is the WIFE of the account holder.

I have always felt that husband was doing something fishy behind my back. And true enough, naa jud diay gihimong mga milagro. I just did not have any proof until now. I was finally able to open his account. An account he made aside from his personal account.

I am shaking right now and feeling nauseaus just reading thru all of his chat conversations. To the women he chatted, it was not only with you that he talked to. There are around a dozen of you na gidungan niya og chat. I pity those he has deceived…trying to win them over thru “paawa” stories and making me look as a bad wife. To those who knew he is still married but still continued to feed on his vulnerabilty kuno, karma is just around the corner. For those who advised him to work on his marriage, thank you for being decent enough. You all know who you are.

It is good he did not use his real name and placed a photo of himself in this account and that he did not add any of our family members and friends. I do not wish any of them the heartache and dismay if they happen to read all that my husband is up to.

It is funny when you try to tell me that I am the one who cheated on our marriage. No, it is the other way around. Please, just stop trying to pretend that you are godly when you are not. I am doing this now so you will know that I know everything that you have been doing.

What hurts as well is when some of your relatives cover up for you. But it does not matter because at the end of it all, it is still YOU who is responsible for your actions…and there are no excuses to what you did.

I hope you realize the wrong that you have done. Just don’t try to keep going around looking for pity from other women…telling them your sob stories and everything else.

I stopped answering your calls and messages when I realized you still have not changed. All I needed to hear was an apology and your acknowledgement of your vices drugs alcohol etc. I never got that from you.

There was never any effort on your part to see the kids before you left. Too many reasons and excuses. Now you are saying that I am cold towards you. I know you know the reason why.

Even when you where still here, you were never around. I did not drive you away in the first place. You chose to go out with your friends instead of spend time with your family. How am I supposed to feel?

You just got home but then you left us just a day after you arrived. You spent it drinking and getting high with your shady friends. You never seem to let go of the drugs that have corrupted you eversince.

Talking with you does not seem to go anywhere since you almost always forget what we talk about. Everything is like a haze for you. You only get clean off from drugs when you are going to get your medical check. After that, it is back to heavy drinking and drug use.

No, it was not just “tilaw” as what you’ve told your chat friend here. It was full blown usage. Countless of times I have seen some of your paraphernalia.

You see, there is your problem right there. You are still in denial of it. Healing cannot take place if there is no acceptance of your vice. Gisamotan pa jud nimo sa pagloko here. All the more, you are pushing me away.

I did not brainwash our kids to hate you or anything. Please tell your relative about that. Wala sila “nanagana” og storya because naa ko. They could have asked the kids even if I was there. Stop making wrong interpretations.

Please be true to yourself. Whatever the situation might be, what you are doing now to other women(chatting, calling on the phone, sex chat, etc) is doing more harm than good. Whatever your intentions might be, you are doing it all wrong.

Sa mga naloko that he is single, too bad…this serves as a warning and wake up call to you…For those who knew he is still married but still continued to flirt, what goes around comes around. For that one woman who blocked him from her FB, thank you.

For my husband, rethink everything that has happened. On my part, I know I have my lapses as a wife and I am sorry for that. I have always been loyal to you from the start. But it is your actions that have been driving me away.

Think. Rethink. Accept your faults. Stop blaming others for the way your life has turned into. Take responsibility.